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No One's Buying My OF



First off, I work in IT.


Lololol. No, but for real though. I work in tech. I hate how that seems like it's some code word for spicy work. You hear a girl works in IT, accounting, or HR and think, yea, OK, how much?


I don't have shit against it. Honestly, baby, more power to you. I always say I would've created only fans (OF) eventually if my account hadn't been hacked. Now with the negative connotations it has, it's just not worth it. Even though someone with an OF doesn't always mean they're busting it wide open on camera or taking house calls. Like someone could literally be paying to watch them vacuum their living room, give cooking lessons or flip houses. It's just the idea of it that is completely shifted in people's minds.


I never thought much of it ironically until recently. Probably because I can't stop seeing it and hearing it. Up until like 4-5years ago, I'm not even sure I knew what it was. I remember seeing only fans or fans only advertised as this thing for celebrities and big influencers, but it's definitely become a life on its own. 


I remember when I got back to the states and getting an email basically offering a job as a web cam model for about 100k a year. So weird. I know I was getting into my baddie pie era, but I was not giving a video hoe. The fuck?! I was contacted by that same or similar company about a year or two later, offering the same thing. I ignored it. Living in the barracks is definitely a struggle, but I wasn't that bad or I wasn't desperate for extra money or so used to living that down bad that I didn't even care if I went a day without eating or eating leftovers three to four days straight.


Life will get better when I get a car and get out of the barracks. When I first enlisted, I was able to get what sounded like a bomb MOS. It was something like aviation control admin. Unfortunately, it was stolen from my fingertips or ears when they came back too dirty at MEPs. I came back another day after getting my ears professionally cleaned. Sigh, I miss when all I had to do was get my ears cleaned to have perfect hearing. The military really fucked my ears up.


Anyhow, they sat me down asking what job I wanted. I said any desk job indoors with AC. Boom, information technology specialist. Yay! In my mind, a desk job, especially one as good as IT, translated to a job in the real world which translated to a possible career which translated to stability which translated to staying out of the hood and being dirt broke and getting caught up in the system or some other bullshit. 


 In my opinion, as someone who really did grow up in poverty and was blessed to have a family that really did try to give us the best life possible. Some family members did better than others and could afford to live in the suburbs at some point. I literally saw my mother and other family members do whatever just to make sure we had something a little better than what they had and a little bit more sense.


I worked hard to be able to work in a field where I should be making a minimum of 120k a year even though I get screwed over often. Never mind that. Back then, it was simply about being able to build any type of career and going to school because that is more important than anything society attempts to market to black girls.


But who the fuck knew the sex industry would be paying super young girls $100k salary off the bat meanwhile they're offering $65-95k to educated IT professionals with years of experience.


Still not making an OF.


Not because I look down on it, but because no one deserves to see me that way. Especially on the internet, which never ever goes away. Just try to catch me in public or wait for a free the nipple moment. No-one really deserves to see any part of vulnerability from me. I'm honestly mad at myself for even opening up myself the way I did to men I usually date and the friends I usually talk to. Yea so good luck trying to see my toes now even if you do send a check.  


I just think society has a weird way of making it seem like all a young girl could amount to be as a member of society, to herself and others is a pretty face and sexual entertainment, but that may be a topic for another time.


I'd never say never, but it doesn't matter anyways, cuz no-one is buying my only fans.




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